


Stop running, you're home.

by marie0604



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 15:16:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marie0604/pseuds/marie0604
Summary: Taeyong is searching for love while Jaehyun actively avoids it.orTaeyong gives Jaehyun everything he never thought he wanted.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> hey there : )
> 
> this is the first fic i've ever written. exciting, right?! ; )
> 
> hope you enjoy chapter 1!!!

Jaehyun was born on Valentine’s Day. He considers this to be extremely ironic. 

It’s ironic because the idea of romance physically repulses Jaehyun. 

Some may call him “heartless” or “cold”. For good reason, Jaehyun thinks, but it’s far from the truth. It’s not that Jaehyun doesn’t have a heart or is not capable of feeling love. It’s that the idea of love scares him. It scares him more than anything else in the world. 

As a result of this, Jaehyun has never had a serious romantic relationship before. 

He’s twenty years-old, in University, and currently sitting alone on his bed in the dorm room that he shares with his best friend Johnny Seo. 

Living with Johnny has been one of the best, and worst, experiences of Jaehyun’s young life. It’s been one of the best because Jaehyun has known Johnny for as long as he can remember; he’s grateful that he didn’t end up having to start University sharing a room with a random person. Johnny was considering attending college in America, where he was born, but he ultimately decided to stay in Korea, to Jaehyun’s immense relief. He and Johnny make exceptional living companions, despite one thing. 

That thing would be Johnny’s boyfriend Ten; he’s the reason why living with Johnny has also been one of the worst experiences of Jaehyun’s life. 

Jaehyun can’t blame Ten for anything because he technically hasn’t done anything wrong. Ten is an all-around amazing person, A+ personality and Johnny, truly, could not have found a better person to build a relationship with. And that’s Jaehyun’s problem. He can’t stand to see them so in love. 

Jaehyun knows it’s unfair. It’s unfair to judge Johnny and Ten’s relationship when they are clearly so happy together. But Jaehyun can’t help it. Johnny is his best friend and Jaehyun can’t help but think, _what happens when Ten leaves you? What happens when something inevitably goes wrong and Ten no longer makes you happy? How will you cope with that loss?_

One day, when Jaehyun and Johnny were alone in their dorm watching a movie on a laptop, Jaehyun’s head resting on the older boy’s shoulder, Jaehyun voiced his concerns. The response he got from Johnny was: “Jaehyun, I’m happy, Ten is happy, isn’t that enough for now? What are you so worried about?” 

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Jaehyun said. 

“What makes you so sure Ten is going to hurt me?” Johnny didn’t sound angry, just genuinely curious. 

“I don’t know. Are there ever happy endings in real life?” 

“I like to think so.” Johnny said, a soft smile on his face. 

And Jaehyun had left it there because he knows when to stop pushing. Most of the time. 

Jaehyun stands up from his bed because his stomach growls and he realizes that even though it’s Saturday and he doesn’t have anything to do, he is human and he needs food. 

Jaehyun checks the time on his phone and sees that it’s almost two o’clock in the afternoon. He hadn’t even realized so much time had passed since he last ate anything. 

To his dismay, but not so much surprise, there’s nothing to eat in the dorm room so Jaehyun throws on a hoodie and gray sweatpants, checks his brown hair in the mirror, and heads for the dining hall. 

Jaehyun hates going to the dining hall for multiple reasons: it’s loud, crowded, he has to walk there, and he inevitably has to engage in an interaction with another human that is not Johnny or another one of his close friends. 

Some might be surprised to learn this about Jaehyun, that he gets nervous when he finds himself in situations that involve someone he doesn’t know, and only the people close to him really understand it. Jaehyun works hard to keep this part of himself a secret from others who don’t know him. 

The secret is that Jaehyun is extremely insecure about himself. He knows he really has no reason to be so self-conscious around others, but no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t seem to muster up the confidence to go about his daily life without feeling like everyone he encounters is negatively judging him. 

Due to this, Jaehyun’s wardrobe consists mainly of two colors: black and gray. Some may argue that those aren’t colors, but Jaehyun thinks that’s stupid. Of course they’re colors. 

Jaehyun tries his best not to direct any unnecessary attention to himself. Although, he has to admit, it’s been extremely hard. Despite his dull outfits and his efforts to avoid conversations with other people, that doesn’t stop other people, mainly girls, from coming up to him. He can’t help the fact that he is, to quote the girls he’s heard whispering amongst each other, “one of the hottest guys on campus”. Jaehyun doesn’t believe that’s true. He’s never thought of himself as attractive. 

So, safe to say, Jaehyun is dreading his trip to the dining hall. _Why does getting something to eat have to be so stressful?_ Jaehyun laments in his brain. He would love to go to a local coffee shop or restaurant where the chance of running into someone from school is significantly lower, but sadly he’s a typical broke university student and must endure the dining hall for the sake of his wallet. 

Jaehyun puts his phone in his pocket as he steps out of the residence hall and into the cool October air. Jaehyun looks around and notices that it’s a really beautiful day. Maybe he’ll eat outside somewhere. 

He sets off in the direction of the dining hall and prays that he doesn’t run into a professor or someone he really doesn’t want to talk to. 

But, obviously, life doesn’t always work out so perfectly. 

As Jaehyun walks to the dining hall, something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He looks up from checking his phone and is surprised to see someone walking towards him. 

The first thing Jaehyun realizes is that it’s the light pink color that caught his attention. 

The second thing he realizes is that the light pink color is the color of that person’s hair. Oh, Jaehyun thinks. 

The third and final thing Jaehyun realizes as they continue to walk towards each other is that it’s a boy who has the light pink hair. _Oh_. 

The pink haired boy is on his phone and not paying attention to his surroundings so Jaehyun takes the opportunity to let his gaze linger on the boy for a little longer as they pass by each other on the sidewalk. 

_Why have I never seen this person before?_ Jaehyun wonders. He surely would’ve remembered someone with pink hair. Maybe he’s new? 

Jaehyun turns his gaze forward. _Whatever_. Jaehyun thinks. _I’ll probably never see him again_. 

What Jaehyun doesn’t know, however, is that once he has retracted his gaze, a pair of dark brown eyes belonging to a certain boy with pink hair fall on him. 

The boy smiles to himself.

\---

When Jaehyun arrives at the dining hall, he pushes open the doors and is immediately assaulted by a battalion of noises and smells. He takes a deep breath and proceeds to walk into the dining hall like a normal human because, yes, he can do that. 

To his relief, he sees Johnny sitting at a table with Ten and his friend Mark. He immediately makes his way over there. 

“Hey Jaehyun!” Ten waves at him as he approaches the table. 

“What’s up?” Jaehyun asks, managing a smile as he sits down in the free chair next to Mark across the square-shaped table from Johnny and Ten. 

“Ten just finished dance practice and I went to pick him up ‘cause he was blowing up my phone with messages about how ‘if I don’t get food literally within the next second I’m going to die’” Johnny replies. 

Jaehyun laughs out loud at that, but it’s cut short when he catches a glance under the table. Of course Johnny and Ten have their legs intertwined. Jaehyun looks back up and _of course_ they’re sharing a plate of food because why would you need two plates when, you know, you could just have one to share with your boyfriend? 

Jaehyun mentally rolls his eyes and decides to get his own food because he’s hungry, he did come to the dining hall for a reason after all, and to separate himself from the couple for a few minutes. 

As Jaehyun makes his way over to the different food stations, he keeps chastising himself because he needs to remember: whatever his own personal issues are, Johnny and Ten are happy, and he can’t mess that up. He cares about Johnny too much to do something like that. And he really does like Ten. He really does, which is why he doesn’t want to see either of them unhappy. 

Once Jaehyun has settled on what he wants to eat, he walks to the table and sits back down next to Mark. 

As Jaehyun begins to eat, Mark turns to him and asks, “Have you met the new student?” 

Jaehyun puts down his food on the plastic white plate and says, “No?” 

“He just transferred from another University. I think he’s around your age or maybe a little older?” Mark responds, directing the last part of his statement at Ten. 

“Yeah. Taeyong is a senior and a dance major, like me. I’ve kind of acted as his mentor since he transferred.” Ten supplies. Jaehyun is a junior so this Taeyong is, indeed, older than him. Not that Jaehyun considers this information to be relevant to him in any way. 

“That’s cool.” Jaehyun states, trying his best to sound interested in their conversation. 

“You guys should meet sometime. I think you’d like him, Jae.” Comes Johnny’s voice, the hopefulness clear in his tone. 

Jaehyun immediately shoots him a look that Johnny knows all too well. It’s a look that says, _You know I don’t like meeting new people. What the fuck are you trying to do?_

Johnny backs down. “Just a suggestion.” He mutters under his breath. 

This is how the dynamic usually works between Jaehyun and Johnny. Johnny will invite Jaehyun to a party, to get coffee with some friends, or to see a movie and Jaehyun’s response is always the same: “No thanks.” 

On the rare occasion that Johnny convinces Jaehyun to go out to a party, promising that it will be chill and small, Jaehyun always discovers that there’s no such thing as a “chill” or “small” party at his University. As a result of this, Jaehyun always ends up drunk off his ass by the end of those nights in an effort to relieve the anxiety and unease he feels. Yes, Jaehyun could’ve decided to leave all those parties, but he knows Johnny would be disappointed so he always ends up staying. 

Jaehyun’s experiences at parties have also resulted in a number of, extremely unfortunate, one-night stands. He never remembers who he hooks up with, as he’s always drunk when it happens. Drunk Jaehyun is the only Jaehyun that will accept people’s advances on him. He always wakes up from those incidents feeling horrible about himself. 

“I’ve got to head to class.” Mark’s voice brings Jaehyun’s attention back from wherever his thoughts had wandered to. 

“Ah, me too.” Ten says, grabbing his bag and standing up. 

Jaehyun has no idea why these two decided to take classes on Saturday, but then again, Mark and Ten are both very unique individuals and Jaehyun thinks he’ll never be able to understand them. 

“See you later, babe.” Ten says, a smile on his face as he leans down to kiss his boyfriend goodbye. 

Jaehyun is glad that the small kiss doesn’t turn into a full blown make-out session, which he has witnessed happen on multiple occasions. 

“Bye guys.” Jaehyun waves at Ten and Mark as they make their way out of the dining hall. 

Once the two boys have left, Johnny turns his attention to Jaehyun, clearly having something to say. 

“You know, I meant what I said earlier.” Johnny states. 

Jaehyun takes a bite of food and replies, “What did you say?”, knowing full well what Johnny is referring to, he just doesn’t want to engage in this conversation. 

Johnny lets out an exasperated breath and narrows his eyes. “About Taeyong.” 

Jaehyun makes a show of rolling his eyes. “Why do you want me to meet him so badly?” 

“I don’t know. Because he’s fun, outgoing, the nicest person you’ll ever meet. Everything you’re not.” Johnny says. 

“Gee, thanks Johnny. Love you, too.” Jaehyun pulls the sleeves of his black hoodie over his hands and tries to make Johnny aware that he is not interested in this conversation. 

“I’m just being honest, Jae. I think he’d be good for you.” 

Jaehyun is beginning to feel properly annoyed. “What the hell do you mean he’d be ‘good for me’?” 

Johnny leans forward and places his hands on Jaehyun’s shoulders. “I mean that you need to make some new friends, Jae. So does Taeyong. He’s new here, after all. It would be good for both of you.” 

“I don’t need new friends!” Jaehyun huffs out, removing Johnny’s hands from his shoulders. “I have you, I have Mark, I have…” Jaehyun thinks for a moment, “I have Ten.” He says. 

Johnny’s mouth forms a frown. “Ten is not your friend, Jaehyun. Don’t lie.” 

“I’m not lying! Ten and I are very good friends, indeed.” Jaehyun cringes as the words come out, they even sound like bullshit to him. 

Johnny rolls his eyes. “I know you only tolerate him because we’re dating. I appretiate that, I really do, but I know how you feel. I just want you to find your own happiness. That’s the only reason why I suggested meeting Taeyong.” 

It’s times like this when Jaehyun wonders how in the world he managed to find a best friend as amazing as Johnny. He’s always looking out for him, always supporting him, and Jaehyun honestly doesn’t know what he did to deserve Johnny. Maybe he doesn’t. 

“I’ll… think about it.” Jaehyun says and he sees Johnny’s face light up. 

“Thank you.” Johnny replies, smiling. 

Once Jaehyun has finished his food, he and Johnny make their way back to the dorms. 

“I’m sorry if I pushed too much.” Johnny says, turning to face Jaehyun as they walk, his light brown hair ruffled from the wind. 

“You didn’t. It’s fine.” Jaehyun looks up at Johnny and smiles. “Everything you said is true.” 

“It might be, but I know how you are about meeting new people and you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” 

A rush of affection for Johnny overcomes Jaehyun so he hugs his best friend right there on the sidewalk. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” Jaehyun tries his best to sound encouraging. 

He doesn’t know if he's trying to convince Johnny or himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t hesitate to tell me what you think so far!
> 
> i have a general idea of where this story is going, but for the most part, i’m kinda writing it as i go which should be fun, haha.
> 
> see you in the next chapter!


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was debating whether or not to wait longer to post this chapter, but i had it all written so i decided to just go ahead and post it. 
> 
> hope you enjoy!!!

The next morning, Jaehyun is woken up by the sound of someone knocking on his door.

“Johnny, the door.” Jaehyun calls and he curls up tighter in bed, desperately trying to fall back asleep. But he doesn’t hear anyone moving towards the door and the knocking continues. 

“Johnny!” Jaehyun demands more angrily. When, again, he doesn’t get a response, Jaehyun sits up only to notice that he’s alone in the dorm room. Johnny’s bed is made and he is nowhere to be seen. 

Jaehyun rubs his tired eyes with his hand and groans as he forces himself out of bed. He locates his glasses on the desk and picks up a random shirt that was left on the floor as he makes his way over to the door. 

Jaehyun doesn’t know who to expect, so he thinks it’s Johnny trying to get into the room because he forgot his key or something. 

When Jaehyun opens the door, however, he has his shirt on half way and realizes that it’s most definitely not Johnny who was knocking. 

The person who is not Johnny is wearing a dark brown hoodie, black sweatpants, and has a head full of dyed pink hair. Realization quickly washes over Jaehyun – it’s the guy he saw yesterday. 

Jaehyun quickly scrambles to pull his shirt all the way down and when he looks at the boy again, he sees that his eyes are focused on the ground at Jaehyun’s feet, a faint rosy color now present on his cheeks. 

“Hi, um, is Johnny here?” The guy asks after a few awkward moments, hesitantly looking up to meet Jaehyun’s eyes, the blush on his cheeks deepening as he looks at Jaehyun who hasn’t realized he’s been staring. 

“N-no, actually.” Jaehyun curses himself for stuttering. “I haven’t seen him this morning.” 

“Oh, well he said I could borrow his chemistry notes. I’m new so I’m trying to get caught up with the classes I need to take.” The boy laughs sheepishly as he runs a hand through his hair. Jaehyun follows the gesture with his eyes. 

_New? Knows Johnny?_ Jaehyun’s sleep-hazed brain is slowly starting to put two and two together which is why he’s not surprised when the next words that come out of the boy’s mouth are: 

“My name is Taeyong, by the way.” 

It’s just Jaehyun’s luck that he gets to meet the famous Taeyong approximately two minutes after he’s woken up without any time to put on proper clothes or contact lenses. Just his luck. 

“Oh, yeah. Johnny mentioned you.” Jaehyun manages to say and Taeyong smiles, clearly pleased that Johnny found him worthy of mentioning. 

As Jaehyun’s mind begins to clear from sleep, he becomes more aware of his surroundings and the boy in front of him. He begins to realize that Johnny completely failed to mention a critical piece of information about Taeyong. 

That piece of information is that Taeyong is really fucking gorgeous. Jaehyun doesn’t know how that escaped his attention when he saw him yesterday. 

Jaehyun takes in Taeyong’s large, brown eyes, the slit in his right eyebrow, the multiple piercings in his ears, and his pink hair. Jaehyun doesn’t think that anyone else could pull off that color, but on Taeyong, it definitely works. 

And Jaehyun is meeting this gorgeous boy for the first time in his pajamas and glasses. Fucking spectacular. 

“You’re Jaehyun, right?” Taeyong asks after another moment, looking thoughtful. 

“Um, yeah, that’s me.” Jaehyun is surprised that Taeyong knows his name, but he really shouldn’t be because Johnny probably gave it to him at some point. 

Jaehyun has almost forgotten the reason why Taeyong is at his door in the first place, but he is reminded when Taeyong says, “It’s really nice to meet you, Jaehyun, but do you know when Johnny will be back? I really need those notes.” 

Jaehyun, in fact, doesn’t know when Johnny will be back because he doesn’t even know where Johnny is. He’s beginning to feel anxious as his interaction with Taeyong lengthens because he is not the one Taeyong came here to see, therefore he’s worried he’s not going to be of any help. 

But Jaehyun realizes, thankfully, that he can be helpful. 

“I don’t know when Johnny will be back, but he usually leaves all of his books on his desk so the chemistry notes you’re looking for should be there.” 

Jaehyun wishes he had thought harder about the words he just said because he registers that he has just invited Taeyong to come into his dorm room to look for the notes. Shit. But it’s better than leaving Taeyong standing awkwardly in the hallway, Jaehyun rationalizes. 

“Oh, cool! Thanks.” Taeyong says as Jaehyun moves away from the door and allows room for Taeyong to enter. 

Even though Jaehyun knows there’s nothing embarrassing lying around in the room that could put him in a compromising situation, that doesn’t stop him from frantically looking around, just to be sure, as Taeyong makes his way over to one of the wood desks. 

Jaehyun sees that his dark blue bed sheets are slightly messy due to the fact that he had no time to make his bed this morning as a result of Taeyong’s unexpected visit. He has some books strewed across the nightstand next to his bed, for both pleasure reading and school, but overall the room is as presentable as it’s going to get at the moment. 

“I’m assuming this one is Johnny’s.” Taeyong states, laughing, gesturing toward the picture of Ten smiling obnoxiously on one of the desks. That picture had been a present for Johnny from Ten after their one-year anniversary. It’s such a Ten gift, Jaehyun can’t help but think. 

“I met Johnny and Ten when I first transferred a few days ago. How long have they been dating?” Taeyong asks, turning to face Jaehyun who has sat down on his bed in an attempt to hide the messy sheets. 

“Almost two years now.” Jaehyun replies, sighing slightly. 

“Do you not approve or something? You don’t seem too thrilled.” Taeyong has a slight look of apprehension on his face which makes Jaehyun start to panic. 

“No, that’s not it!” Jaehyun quickly tries to explain himself, “It’s just that they can be a bit of a handful when they’re together, that’s all. It’s like they’re the only two people in existence.” 

Taeyong laughs and Jaehyun relaxes. 

“They seem really happy together.” Taeyong says as he looks through the pile of Johnny’s notebooks. 

Jaehyun can’t deny the truth of the statement. 

“You know, I think I saw you yesterday.” Taeyong’s voice startles Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun is startled because _Taeyong remembered him?_ Jaehyun thought that brief interaction on the way to the dining hall was completely one sided on his part. 

“Yeah, um, I think I saw you, too.” Jaehyun says and decides to add, “I remember your hair.” 

Taeyong laughs and brings his hand up to touch his head. 

“That doesn’t surprise me. It’s a bit obnoxious, isn’t it? I was told by a friend I should try pink, but I don’t know how I feel about it yet.” 

Jaehyun really wants to shout _HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW GOOD YOU LOOK??!!_ But he goes with something a little more subtle. 

“I like it.” Jaehyun says, feeling his face heat up as he delivers the compliment. 

“Thank you.” Taeyong replies, a beautiful smile present on his face. “When you answered the door, I wasn’t sure at first if it was you who I saw yesterday.” Taeyong says. “The glasses threw me off. You weren’t wearing them yesterday.” 

Jaehyun’s eyes widen and he brings his hand up to his face, meaning to remove the glasses. They’re thin and wired with circular shaped lenses that Jaehyun has always hated. 

“Oh, I don’t usually wear them—” Jaehyun begins to say, but Taeyong cuts him off. 

“You don’t have to take them off!” The pink haired boy says. Jaehyun gives Taeyong a look of confusion, and Taeyong’s face flushes. 

“I-I mean… you need them to see, right?” Taeyong laughs nervously. 

Jaehyun enters a state of disbelief because _did Taeyong just imply that he likes my glasses?_

Jaehyun has never liked wearing glasses and as soon as he was old enough, he asked his mom to get him contacts. 

Despite this, Jaehyun brings his hand away from his face and leaves the glasses where they are. He sees Taeyong smile softly as he goes back to looking for the chemistry notes. 

It only takes a few more seconds before Taeyong finds the red spiral notebook with the label “CHEMISTRY 101” in big letters on the cover. Jaehyun remembers having to take chemistry as a freshman and he’s extremely thankful that he somehow managed to pass with an A. He feels for Taeyong who’s taking chemistry as a senior. It must suck. 

“Found it!” Taeyong announces, holding up the notebook. “Thanks for letting me look for the notes. I’m sorry I had to disturb you. I really thought Johnny was going to be here.” Taeyong says. 

That piques Jaehyun’s curiosity. 

“Did Johnny tell you he was going to be here?” Jaehyun asks, his tone clearly suspicious. 

“Yeah, he did actually. That’s why I was surprised when you answered the door.” Taeyong replies. 

_That sneaky motherfucker_ , Jaehyun curses Johnny in his brain. Everything makes sense now. Johnny totally left on purpose this morning to give Taeyong and Jaehyun an opportunity to talk alone. Johnny never goes anywhere on Sunday mornings and he just happened to choose today, of all days, the day he knew Taeyong would be coming, to go somewhere? Not likely. 

“But I’m happy I ended up getting to meet you, Jaehyun.” 

Jaehyun immediately turns his head to face the ground because he is definitely blushing now and Taeyong can definitely see. 

“Uh, you too.” Jaehyun really wishes Taeyong wouldn’t make him feel like this. The audacity of this boy to show up at his room at nine o’clock on a Sunday morning and assault him with his gorgeous looks and bright personality. Johnny was right when he said that Taeyong is everything Jaehyun isn’t. It’s really not fair. 

“I guess I should get going.” Taeyong says, looking at the door. 

“Oh, um, okay. You have everything you need?” Jaehyun realizes that he is just as unprepared for Taeyong to leave as he was for him to show up. 

“Yep. Thanks again for your help!” Taeyong’s smile becomes even brighter and Jaehyun finds himself unable to hold back a smile of his own. 

Jaehyun stands up from his bed and walks Taeyong to the door. Just as he’s about to say goodbye, Taeyong turns around and says, 

“Hey, Jaehyun, why don’t you give me your number.” 

Jaehyun’s brain short circuits. Give Taeyong his number. As in his _phone number?_ Holy shit. He is so not prepared for this. He doesn’t give anyone his phone number because he firmly believes that he doesn’t need to communicate with anyone besides Johnny and a select few others. Giving Taeyong his number would imply that they are going to have future communication beyond this interaction and, again, Jaehyun is so not prepared for that. 

Taeyong seems to sense Jaehyun’s inner dilemma so he quickly adds, “Just in case I need to return Johnny’s notebook and he’s not here again.” 

Jaehyun is still reluctant to give away his phone number. But it’s Taeyong asking, and in the short time they’ve known each other, Jaehyun has felt uncharacteristically comfortable around the pink haired boy. 

So, what’s he going to do? Say no? Of course not. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Jaehyun says as he turns to grab his phone from where it’s sitting on his desk. Taeyong extends his hand so Jaehyun unlocks the phone and passes it to him, watching skeptically as Taeyong adds himself as a contact. 

“All done! Thanks, Jaehyunie!” Taeyong hands the phone back to Jaehyun, clearly unaware of the effect he just had on the younger boy by calling him _Jaehyunie_. 

Jaehyun hasn’t even known Taeyong for twenty minutes and he’s already being pushed out of all his comfort zones. Jaehyun feels exhausted and is reminded about why he prefers to be alone. He still hasn’t quite figured out this social interaction thing. 

“See you!” Taeyong calls as he walks out the door, turning his head back and waving to Jaehyun. 

“Bye.” Jaehyun waves back and stands at the door until Taeyong has turned the corner at the end of the hallway and disappears from sight. 

Jaehyun lets out a deep breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding in as he shuts the door and walks back into his room. He looks down at his phone to see that Taeyong has saved himself as _Taeyongie~~_ and has sent a message to himself which says: 

_Hi from Jaehyun’s phone :))_. 

Jaehyun immediately changes the contact name to _Taeyong_ because everyone else in his phone is saved as just their name. No nicknames or emoticons. Even Johnny is just saved as _Johnny Seo_. Why should Taeyong be special? Jaehyun wouldn’t even consider them friends yet. Acquaintances, at best. 

Jaehyun lays down on his bed with a loud sigh. 

He looks at his phone and wonders if Taeyong will actually ever text him. _He’ll probably forget he even asked for my number_ , Jaehyun thinks. 

He doesn’t know why someone like Taeyong would want to talk to him. Taeyong seems like the type of person who is naturally able to make tons of friends, so he probably has lots people saved in his phone. Unlike Jaehyun. 

But, a small part of Jaehyun really hopes Taeyong doesn’t forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay for jaeyong interactions!
> 
> thanks so much for reading!! see you in the next chapter which will be from taeyong's point of view!


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapter from taeyong's pov!!

“YUTA!!!” Taeyong exclaims as he barges into his dorm room.

Yuta looks up from where he was reading an article for class on his computer – quite peacefully, he might add – and watches as Taeyong dramatically flops down onto his bed. He’s gotten used to his best friend’s theatrics after knowing him for so long. He really missed Taeyong while they were at different schools, but now Yuta has him back and could not be happier about it. As soon as Taeyong told him he was transferring, Yuta suggested that they be roommates and, of course, Taeyong accepted. 

“I’m having a gay crisis!” Taeyong cries after a few moments, looking up at Yuta with a look of something close to despair on his face. 

“Taeyong, you literally came out five years ago.” Yuta states, slightly amused. Taeyong watches as Yuta continues to read whatever he’s looking at on his computer. 

“That’s not the point! You don’t know how unprepared I was for what just happened to me!” Taeyong says and he closes Yuta’s laptop in an attempt to get his full attention. 

“Hey, I was reading something!” 

“I don’t care! You _need_ to listen to me!” Taeyong pleads with a pout on his face. 

“Okay, fine! Jesus, what happened?” Yuta asks, sounding slightly bewildered. 

Taeyong takes a deep breath before he speaks. 

“So, I go up to Johnny Seo’s room. You know him, right?” Taeyong asks and Yuta nods. He and Johnny became friends after they had a literature class together during sophomore year. 

After Yuta confirms that he knows Johnny, Taeyong continues his story explaining, “I needed to borrow his chemistry notes and he told me to come up to his room this morning to get them.” 

“So… you realized that you’re gay for Johnny’s chemistry notes?” Yuta asks, slightly confused as to where this story is going. 

“No, you dumbass. I got to Johnny’s room, knocked on the door, and guess who answered?!” 

“Johnny?” 

“Oh my god, NO!” Taeyong is beginning to get extremely frustrated with his friend. “It was his roommate, Jaehyun.” 

Yuta is somewhat familiar with Jaehyun. They’ve never had a class together or anything, he just knows him through Johnny. There was one time when Yuta and Johnny had lunch plans together and Johnny had asked if he could bring Jaehyun. Of course, Yuta had said yes, but when Johnny arrived with said boy, Jaehyun looked like he would’ve rather been anywhere else. 

When the trio started conversing and Yuta began to ask Jaehyun questions about his major and such, Jaehyun was friendly and polite, but he seemed completely disinterested. Jaehyun didn’t ask Yuta anything about his life, and they left no more friends than they were when they had arrived. 

Yuta didn’t know Johnny and Jaehyun were roommates. That information must have skipped his mind somehow. He supposes it makes sense, considering how close the two of them are. Yuta’s not sure he’s ever seen Jaehyun hang out with anyone extensively besides Johnny. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?!” Taeyong asks desperately. He expected much better of his best friend. 

“How was I supposed to know Jaehyun was going to answer the door? I didn’t even know they were roommates until you just told me! I don’t even know what’s so significant about that in the first place!” Yuta exclaims. 

“It’s significant because Jaehyun is quite possibly the most attractive human being I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on! And I showed up like this!” Taeyong gestures dramatically at the clothing he’s wearing. If he had known he’d be meeting Jaehyun, he would’ve chosen something a little bit more impressive than a hoodie and sweatpants. 

“And when I got there, I didn’t even realize that I had actually seen him yesterday because he was wearing glasses today. Why does he look so good in glasses?” Taeyong wonders out loud. 

After Taeyong’s passionate rant about Jaehyun’s good looks, Yuta supposes he did think Jaehyun was pretty cute when he first met him. But then he met Sicheng, and all thoughts about other cute boys were pushed out of his mind. No one could ever compete with Sicheng in Yuta’s mind. 

Taeyong looks at Yuta for a moment before asking, “Do you know anything about him?” 

It takes a moment for Yuta to register that Taeyong is talking about Jaehyun and not Sicheng. 

“Um, not much. I had lunch with Johnny and him one time and he told me he’s majoring in something related to literature. He wasn’t very specific.” Yuta replies. “I’ve gotten the impression that he kind of keeps to himself.” 

Yuta thinks for another moment and remembers something else. “Actually, I went to a party one time and Jaehyun was there with Johnny. I thought I saw him leave with someone who wasn’t Johnny, but I don’t remember who it was. I doubt it was anything serious.” 

Taeyong considers this information. He remembers seeing all of the books by Jaehyun’s bed, so he’s not surprised about his choice of major. As for Jaehyun keeping to himself and the party incident, Taeyong can’t help but feel disappointed. _Does that mean he wouldn’t want to hang out if I asked?_ Taeyong wonders. 

He thinks back to their interaction and remembers the way Jaehyun had shyly complimented his hair and the way he hadn’t outright refused when Taeyong asked for his phone number. Maybe there’s a chance? 

Taeyong has never been one to hesitate when he sees an opportunity. He has Jaehyun’s number and, of course, there’s always the issue of whether or not Jaehyun is into guys. But honestly, Taeyong would be happy with having him as just a friend. Jaehyun seems like the type of person Taeyong could see himself hanging out with. Taeyong absently wonders what Jaehyun thinks about him. He hopes he made a good impression. 

“So, what are you going to do?” Yuta asks. 

Taeyong sighs and looks at his phone. 

“I got Jaehyun’s number this morning. I told him I’d use it if I needed to give Johnny back his notes and he’s not at their room again. But that was just an excuse. I don’t think he would’ve given it to me otherwise.” Taeyong says and Yuta begins to laugh hysterically. 

“Wow, Taeyong. I’m impressed!” 

“Hey! At least I made the first move! Would you like to tell me how things with Sicheng are going?” Taeyong asks, narrowing his eyes and glaring at Yuta. 

Yuta gasps and struggles to form words for a moment. 

“T-things are going great, thank you very much. We’re going on a date soon.” Yuta says, matter-of-factly. 

“Uh huh. And does Sicheng know that?” Taeyong asks, not even trying to hide his amusement. 

“He will.” Yuta mutters under his breath. 

Taeyong laughs fondly. He’s known about his best friend’s infatuation with the Chinese boy for a while now. Yuta introduced Taeyong to Sicheng one day before he transferred, and Taeyong had to hold back his laughter at Yuta’s flustered expression whenever Sicheng so much as looked in his direction. 

Yuta still hasn’t confessed his feelings, and Taeyong isn’t sure why because Sicheng definitely knows how Yuta feels about him. It’s not like Yuta is very discreet. Plus, Taeyong is pretty sure Sicheng feels the same way. He really wishes that Yuta would make a move because he’s almost positive Sicheng will never be the one to do it. Taeyong needs it for his sanity. 

Taeyong also has to admit that he’s slightly jealous of them. And of Johnny and Ten, as well. Taeyong has been looking for a while now, with no luck, for a relationship of his own and frankly, he’s getting quite frustrated. He’s tired of hookups that lead nowhere. He wants something serious for once. He wants to find something that will last beyond one night. 

Taeyong wants to find someone who he can talk to, who he can laugh with, cry with, make memories with. Someone who will support him and who will always be there for him. 

Of course, Taeyong knows he has his friends, but they’re not able to provide the type of emotional support Taeyong is seeking. He wants someone who he can talk to about his day, someone who he can hug and kiss when he’s happy or sad, someone who will listen to him and tell him that he’s worth more than just one night. 

Someone who feels like home. 

Taeyong doesn’t know if he’s ever going to find what he’s looking for. 

Taeyong glances down at his phone and opens his messages app. He looks at the most recently saved number. 

_Maybe?_

Taeyong gets up from where he was lying on Yuta’s bed and walks across the room to stand in front of the window. 

Taeyong knows it’s a long shot. But who would he be if he didn’t even try? 

He looks out of the window, feels the rays of morning sun streaming through, and begins to type out a text message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> sorry it was kinda short??? i'll make up for it :))))))


	4. Four

_thanks again for the notes. why is chemistry so hard? o_o_

Jaehyun stares at the text message for the hundredth time as he sits on his bed. He just took a shower, so he has a towel draped around his shoulders to prevent his damp hair from dripping on his pajama shirt.

It’s currently almost ten o’clock at night, but Jaehyun had received the text at around two in the afternoon.

He’d been walking with Johnny to meet their friend Sicheng at a café for lunch when the sound of a text alert interrupted the conversation they’d been having about a movie that just came out that Johnny wants Jaehyun to see with him.

“Who is it?” Johnny asked, sounding very curious.

Jaehyun had shrugged and said, “Probably no one.” But when he took his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and looked at the message, Jaehyun’s heart skipped a beat. It was from Taeyong.

_thanks again for the notes. why is chemistry so hard? o_o_

It’s a fairly simple message, definitely nothing to get worked up over. But, of course, that didn’t stop Jaehyun’s brain from completely overanalyzing what Taeyong had sent him. _What does it mean? Do I respond? When do I respond? Oh god, why did I give him my number again?_

Johnny had seen Jaehyun staring at his phone like he had just been sent top-secret government information or something, so Johnny asked again, more insistent, “Who is it?”

Jaehyun had looked up from his phone and decided to tell Johnny the truth.

“It’s Taeyong.” Jaehyun said, and he didn’t miss the way Johnny immediately started smirking.

“So you have his number now, huh.” Johnny said, as he nudged Jaehyun’s shoulder and began to raise his eyebrows suggestively.

“It’s not like that!” Jaehyun had insisted. “And I still don’t forgive you for what you did to me this morning. You could’ve at least _told_ me Taeyong would be coming by our room!”

Johnny began to laugh. Jaehyun’s suspicions were correct and Johnny had, indeed, left purposefully that morning when he knew Taeyong was coming and went to take Ten out for breakfast instead.

“You’ll thank me later. Although, it looks like you should already be thanking me.” Johnny stated indignantly, and Jaehyun had smacked his friend on the head and continued walking to the café.

Now, as he stares at the text message, sitting on his bed, Jaehyun has absolutely no idea what to say. He’s typed several messages in response throughout the course of the day, but everything he comes up with sounds lame and cringy to him, so he hasn’t sent anything yet.

Jaehyun looks up as he hears Johnny open the door and walk into the dorm. “Johnny, what do I say to Taeyong?” He asks desperately.

“Oh my god, you still haven’t replied?” Johnny says in disbelief as he walks over to Jaehyun’s bed.

“Hey! You got me into this! Now you have to help me.” Jaehyun argues, waving his phone in front of Johnny’s face.

“Give it here.” Johnny demands as he takes the phone out of Jaehyun’s hand.

"Wait, no, don’t send anything!” Jaehyun quickly tries to grab his phone back from Johnny’s possession, but Johnny stands up and begins to walk around the room, avoiding Jaehyun’s swipes at his hands and arms.

Jaehyun’s attempts to retrieve his phone are futile and before he knows what’s happening, Johnny announces, “It’s done!”, with a satisfied look on his face.

All of the color drains from Jaehyun’s face. He immediately snatches his phone from Johnny’s hand and frantically looks at the message that was sent to Taeyong, his heart beating out of his chest.

_No problem! And I know, chem sucks, haha._

“Oh my god, Johnny! Why did you do that?!” Jaehyun demands, glaring at his friend who doesn’t look the least bit regretful.

“You’ve been staring at that message all day! I just did you a favor!” Johnny replies.

Jaehyun looks at his friend in disbelief and lets out a frustrated groan as he flops down on his bed. Jaehyun is mortified. He reads the message that Johnny sent over and over again, criticizing every detail of it. _There’s no way Taeyong is going to respond_ , Jaehyun thinks.

About two minutes later, however, Jaehyun is proven wrong.

He hears the sound of a text message notification come from his phone and he immediately checks it, his heart rate speeding up significantly.

Taeyong has replied.

_have you already taken chem?_

Jaehyun vaguely registers Johnny asking, “Was that Taeyong?”, but he ignores him in favor of coming up with a careful response to the message.

_I took it freshman year._

Jaehyun hits the send button with shaky fingers. He can’t remember the last time he felt this nervous.

Taeyong’s reply is almost instant.

_**Taeyong:**_

_ugHH lucky!! i haven’t even attended_ _an_

 _official_ _chem class yet and i already want to die._

 _**Jaehyun:** _

_When do you start classes?_

_**Taeyong:**_

_tomorrow x_x_

_**Jaehyun:**_

_That’s super fun._

_**Taeyong:**_

_that better have been sarcastic xD_

_**Jaehyun:**_

_It was._

Jaehyun looks at his exchange with Taeyong in awe. He can’t believe he’s doing this. He can’t believe he’s actually texting Taeyong and having a normal conversation with him.

Jaehyun can’t help the smile that forms on his face. He finds himself more comfortable with talking through text messages than in person, so he decides to ask Taeyong something he’s been wondering about.

_Why did you transfer here?_

Jaehyun waits anxiously for Taeyong’s reply. He sees the three little dots indicating that Taeyong is typing appear and disappear multiple times. Jaehyun begins to feel even more nervous. He frantically wonders if he made a mistake by asking that question. 

After a few more agonizing moments, Taeyong’s reply finally comes.

_i decided the dance program wasn’t right for me at my old university._

Jaehyun can sense that there’s more to that vague answer because _how do you spend multiple years of school in a program and only realize it’s not right for you during senior year?_ But, if Taeyong doesn’t want to tell the full story right now, Jaehyun won’t push him.

He decides to switch the topic to something more comfortable.

_**Jaehyun:**_

_How long have you been dancing?_

_**Taeyong:**_

_since i could walk, basically._

_i’ve always loved to dance :D_

 

Before Jaehyun has a chance to reply, Taeyong sends another message.

_you should come see me dance some time! i’m pretty okay, if i do say so myself ;)_

Jaehyun’s first instinct is to refuse. He never likes committing to plans, but going to watch Taeyong dance wouldn’t bring about the end of the world, right? _People go out all the time to do things_ , Jaehyun rationalizes in his mind. _It would be cool to see Taeyong dance_ , he thinks.

_**Jaehyun:**_

_I’d like that._

_**Taeyong:**_

_yayy ^-^ i’ll let you know the next_

_time_ _i have a showcase or something!_

_**Jaehyun:**_

_Sounds good :)_

Jaehyun looks over at Johnny who is laying on his bed, reading a book. _Johnny has most likely seen Ten dance before_ , Jaehyun thinks. He wonders how Johnny feels when he watches Ten, so he decides to ask him about it.

“What’s it like?” Jaehyun ventures cautiously. He sees Johnny put down his book, and Jaehyun immediately feels his face become hot because he usually never asks about Johnny and Ten’s relationship.

“What’s what like?” Johnny asks.

“When you watch Ten dance. What’s it like?”

Jaehyun sees Johnny’s expression shift from surprise, to confusion, and it finally softens as he smiles.

“The first time I ever saw Ten, he was dancing.” Johnny says.

When Jaehyun remains silent, Johnny takes that as his cue to continue talking.

“It was by accident, actually. I was trying to find one of my classes, and I somehow ended up in the performing arts building. I was rushing to find my way out, and that’s when I walked in front of the door to the room Ten was practicing in.”

Jaehyun shrinks into himself as Johnny tells his story. _Why has he never told me any of this?_

“It was amazing.” Johnny continues. “He was amazing. I couldn’t believe a person could dance so well. I went back to that building and that room every day.”

Jaehyun knows how the rest of the story goes.

“Why haven’t you told me any of this before?” Jaehyun asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

The light in Johnny’s eyes dims the slightest bit. “You never asked.”

And Jaehyun immediately feels awful. Because it’s true. He’s never been interested in Johnny’s life beyond the things such as his family and their friendship. Ten is clearly a huge part of Johnny’s life, and Jaehyun has barely acknowledged that. He has put almost no effort into getting to know Ten. Unfortunately, Jaehyun is just now realizing how much that must have hurt Johnny.

“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun says. And he really means it.

“What are you sorry for?” Johnny asks, tilting his head in confusion.

Jaehyun thinks for a moment. Where to start?

“For not appreciating how important Ten is to you. For not caring enough about your life. For not caring enough about you. For being a shitty friend.” Jaehyun has so much more he could apologize for, but he stops there for now.

Johnny looks shocked. He clearly wasn’t expecting the night to take a turn like this.

“You don’t have to apologize. I’ve never blamed you for anything.” Johnny replies, and Jaehyun gives him a look that says, _I don’t believe you_.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny begins, seeing Jaehyun’s doubtful expression, “I know you. Whether you think I do or not. I know you, and I know you haven’t been the same since you came back from America. I don’t know what happened there, but it must have been pretty bad because you changed.”

Jaehyun sits in shock. He wasn’t expecting Johnny to bring that up. Those four years he lived in America were the only time he and Johnny had ever been apart since they met when Johnny moved to Korea. He hasn’t thought about that period of his life in a while. He has tried his best to suppress it deep in his mind. He never told Johnny what happened.

“I understand if you still don’t want to talk about it. But, just know that if you ever feel up to it, I’ll always be here to listen. I’ve never commented on anything or pushed you to accept Ten as a part of my life because I know it must have something to do with what happened to you.” Johnny takes a deep breath. “I never thought you were doing it to hurt me intentionally.”

Jaehyun feels pressure build behind his eyes. _Why do I feel like crying?_

Johnny must see Jaehyun’s expression because he immediately gets off his bed and rushes over to take Jaehyun in his arms.

They stay like that for a while. Jaehyun feels so comfortable in Johnny’s embrace. He is reminded, once again, of how grateful he is to have Johnny as a friend.

Jaehyun knows he needs to tell Johnny what happened to him in America. He owes it to him. However, Jaehyun doesn’t think that’s going to happen tonight. And that’s okay. It can wait until he is completely ready.

The sound of a phone chiming brings the moment to an end.

Johnny releases Jaehyun and asks, “Are you okay?”

Jaehyun nods. “Yeah. I am.” He is okay. He will be okay.

Johnny ruffles Jaehyun’s hair affectionately and crosses the room to get back into his own bed.

Jaehyun wipes his eyes and reaches for his phone to check his texts. He sees that Taeyong has sent another message.

_i have a huge favor to ask of you._

Jaehyun doesn’t know what in the world this favor could be, but he hesitantly types back: 

_Ok. What is it?_

Taeyong's reply is: 

_can you show me where the library is tomorrow morning before class? i need a specific book and i totally forget where it is :/_

Jaehyun considers Taeyong’s request. Jaehyun is sure Taeyong has other people he could ask to show him the library. _Does it mean something that he asked me specifically? Does it mean that he actually wants to spend more time with me? And so soon?_ Jaehyun wonders.

Jaehyun feels the butterflies in his stomach. Is he...? No, he couldn’t be.

Is he _excited_ to see Taeyong again?

He must be because he’s typing a response to Taeyong that says:

_Okay. Where should I meet you?_

Taeyong is making Jaehyun do things he never thought he would do. Jaehyun is taking time out of his morning tomorrow to show Taeyong the library. He's going out of his way for Taeyong, which he hasn’t done for anyone in a very long time.

Jaehyun’s phone buzzes.

_i’ll meet you outside of your dorm building. thank you so much!!! :D_

Jaehyun can’t believe this is actually happening. He, Jung Jaehyun, is going to meet Taeyong tomorrow morning. He honestly can’t believe it.

Jaehyun puts his phone down on the nightstand next to his bed.

“Why are you so happy?” Johnny asks, his tone slightly amused.

Jaehyun hadn’t realized Johnny was watching him, and he’s confused. Did he say something? What’s making Johnny think he’s happy?

Johnny laughs. “You were just smiling at your phone like an idiot.”

Oh. Jaehyun hadn’t even realized he’d been smiling. He supposes he is happy. He’s happy because Taeyong wants to see him again and that makes Jaehyun feel somewhat validated.

“It’s nothing.” Jaehyun says shyly.

Johnny doesn’t buy it. “Okay, then.”

Jaehyun thinks that Johnny is going to drop the subject, but then he says, “Say goodnight to Taeyong for me!”

Jaehyun covers his face in embarrassment. “Johnny, I told you it’s not like that!” He insists for the second time that day.

“Whatever you say.” Johnny chuckles as he goes back to reading his book.

Jaehyun huffs in frustration. _It’s really not like that_ , he thinks to himself.

Jaehyun grabs his phone again and scrolls through his messages with Taeyong.

This time, he’s fully aware of his smile. 

Jaehyun falls asleep thinking about a boy with pink hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> those text messages were a BITCH to format. i'm never doing that again, lol. 
> 
> also sorry for the slight angst towards the ending. ;))) what happened in america? •_•


	5. Five

Taeyong is waiting for Jaehyun outside of his dorm building as he said he would be.

It’s around nine in the morning, and Taeyong is wearing a pair of dark ripped jeans and a black shirt with a beige cardigan. He considers it to be a step up from what he was wearing the last time he met Jaehyun. 

Taeyong feels anxious just standing around and waiting, so he decides to check his phone to make sure Jaehyun hasn’t texted him. When Taeyong had arrived, he texted Jaehyun to let him know he was there, and Jaehyun had responded: _Ok. Coming_. It’s been only a minute since Jaehyun sent that message, so Taeyong tries to convince himself that there’s nothing to be worried about. 

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Jaehyun emerges from his building wearing a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and a jean jacket. Taeyong is taken aback by Jaehyun’s effortless handsomeness. 

Jaehyun is looking at his phone, but when he looks up, he spots Taeyong and hesitates for a moment before walking over to him. 

“Hi!” Taeyong greets Jaehyun when he’s standing in front of him. 

“Hey.” Jaehyun replies, his demeanor becoming more relaxed when he sees Taeyong’s warm expression. 

“Thanks again for helping me. I tried to ask my friend Yuta, but he was being annoying and wants me to suffer.” Taeyong says, watching Jaehyun as they begin to walk in what Taeyong presumes is the direction of the library. 

“You’re friends with Yuta?” Jaehyun asks. 

“Yeah, he’s my roommate. He told me you guys had lunch together once.” Taeyong replies. 

“I’m surprised he remembers that.” Taeyong doesn’t miss the self-deprecating tone of Jaehyun’s voice. 

“He also told me you’re majoring in literature.” Taeyong says, and he sees Jaehyun’s eyes widen and then narrow. 

“That’s nothing interesting.” Jaehyun replies. 

“Yes it is! I assume you like to read and write, then?” Taeyong is trying his best to subtly encourage Jaehyun to talk about himself. Taeyong really wants to learn more about him, but he’s beginning to realize that Jaehyun is not the type of person who gives away information about themself carelessly. 

Jaehyun looks at Taeyong thoughtfully before replying, “I guess I do.” 

“What are your favorite books to read?” Taeyong asks. He knows that Jaehyun is most likely not going to answer with a book that he’s familiar with, but Taeyong is curious all the same. 

“Fiction, mostly.” Jaehyun responds. It’s another vague answer, and Taeyong can’t help but feel as stab of disappointment. He quickly gets over it, however, as he tells himself that he and Jaehyun have not known each other for very long, so he can’t expect Jaehyun to reveal everything about himself right now. 

“That’s cool.” Taeyong decides to stop interrogating Jaehyun about his life. He figures everything he wants to know will come out in due time. 

“What about you?” Jaehyun asks. 

“What about me?” Taeyong replies, not sure for a moment if Jaehyun is still talking about books or something else. Taeyong really hopes he’s not talking about books. It’s not that Taeyong doesn’t like to read, it’s just not how he prefers to spend his time. He’s worried that might disappoint Jaehyun. 

“What type of dance do you practice?” Jaehyun asks. 

Taeyong is extremely grateful for the question and change in subject. “Mostly hip-hop and modern dance. I don’t really know what to call my style, it’s kind of a mix between the two.” He laughs. Taeyong could talk about dance all day, but he doesn’t want to bore Jaehyun. 

“That sounds hard.” Jaehyun says. 

“It can be, but it’ll be worth it when you come see me. I’m holding you to that, by the way.” Taeyong winks at Jaehyun and he notices that the other boy’s ears turn red. It’s adorable. 

“O-okay.” Jaehyun knows he agreed to watch Taeyong dance last night, and he doesn’t want to back out now in front of Taeyong. 

Taeyong looks up and realizes that they have reached the library. It’s a large building and Taeyong really hopes it won’t take long to find the book he needs. 

“Which book are you getting?” Jaehyun asks as they approach the library doors. 

“It’s an old play or something. I think everyone dies at the end or some shit. It doesn’t sound very interesting.” Taeyong says, and he sees Jaehyun smile slightly. 

“Why are you taking classes you don’t like? Chemistry, now this?” Jaehyun asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Taeyong pouts. “They weren’t requirements at my old university, but they are here. I need to take them if I want to graduate.” He says, regretfully. 

“Oh, that’s right. I took all of those classes my first year.” Jaehyun states. 

“Well aren’t you lucky. Fuck chemistry.” Taeyong asserts, and then he corrects himself, “Actually, no. Ten-out-of-ten would not fuck.” 

Jaehyun laughs, and Taeyong is momentarily awestruck. His dimples are on full display and Taeyong thinks, not for the first time, that Jaehyun might just be the prettiest human he’s ever seen. Taeyong quickly looks away so Jaehyun doesn’t catch him staring. 

“Come on. Let’s get your book about people dying and shit.” Jaehyun says, still laughing, as he grabs Taeyong’s arm and guides him towards the library doors. 

Taeyong is fully aware of the increase in speed of his heart at the contact. He makes no move to remove himself from Jaehyun’s gentle hold. 

\--- 

Once Taeyong has got his book, he and Jaehyun make their way out of the library. They had spent some time talking, and Jaehyun recommended a handful of books for Taeyong to read. As a result, Taeyong is leaving with two more books in addition to the one for school. 

“You seriously don’t have to check them out if you don’t want.” Jaehyun had said to Taeyong when he walked up to the student working at the check-out counter with Jaehyun’s recommended books. 

“But I seriously want to.” Taeyong had insisted, and Jaehyun gave him one of the brightest smiles he’d ever seen. 

When they step out of the library, the campus is beginning to come to life with students making their way to morning classes. 

“I guess I should let you go.” Taeyong’s smile is strained. 

Jaehyun’s eyes widen and a peculiar expression passes over his face. It may just be Taeyong’s idealistic mind, but it almost looks as if Jaehyun is disappointed at the idea of him leaving. Taeyong secretly hopes that’s what it is. 

“O-oh, okay.” Jaehyun says after a moment. 

Taeyong debates in his mind about how he’s going to proceed. He could just say thank you and leave, but then there’d be no guarantee of when he’d see Jaehyun again. But, Taeyong is also worried about seeming too forward by asking Jaehyun if he wants to hang out some time. 

Taeyong is about to go with the say thank you and leave option, figuring he could always text Jaehyun about hanging out, but at the last minute, Taeyong’s brain says _fuck it_ , and he decides _why not just do it now?_

“Hey Jaehyun, what time is your class over?” Taeyong asks, and Jaehyun’s eyes widen in surprise at the question. 

“Um, eleven. Why?” 

Taeyong takes a deep breath and then goes for it. “Do you want to do something together afterwards? My class ends around the same time.” 

Jaehyun looks like he’s about to reply, but then he shuts his mouth before he says anything and tugs at the sleeves of his jacket. 

Taeyong is beginning to become increasingly worried that Jaehyun is going to turn him down. It’s obviously okay if he does, but Taeyong would be extremely disappointed. 

He’s about to say something like “don’t worry about it if you don’t want to, or if you’re busy”, but then, to Taeyong’s immeasurable delight, Jaehyun replies to his offer with a simple, “Okay.” 

Taeyong is not able to hide his smile. “Great! We can have a late breakfast slash early lunch or something.” He says, so happy that Jaehyun actually agreed to spend more time with him. 

Taeyong sees Jaehyun smile as well, and Jaehyun asks, “Where should I meet you?” 

“How about here? I think I can find my way now.” Taeyong replies, gesturing to the library, which is pretty much at the center of campus and accessible from all of the other buildings. 

“Sounds good.” Jaehyun says. 

They stand awkwardly for a moment, neither of them sure how to proceed. 

Thankfully, Taeyong pulls himself together and tells Jaehyun that he has to get to class. 

“See you later!” Taeyong calls as he turns to walk away. 

“Y-yeah.” Jaehyun replies lamely, still not quite processing that he will, indeed, be seeing Taeyong later. He begins to walk to his class with a light feeling in his chest. 

\--- 

“So I found out that I have a dance recital coming up.” Taeyong tells Jaehyun as they sit together in a booth at a café. Jaehyun had recommended this place to Taeyong when he met him after his class. It’s small, cozy, and Jaehyun feels comfortable here. 

“I’ll be dancing with Ten.” Taeyong says. 

Jaehyun feels the slightest bit relieved because if Ten is dancing, that means Johnny will probably want to watch him and Jaehyun won’t have to go to the recital alone. 

“That sounds cool.” Jaehyun says. 

“Yeah. You’ll have to tell me who’s better.” Taeyong replies. 

Jaehyun laughs softly. “I’ve heard Ten is pretty good. You may have some competition.” 

Taeyong pouts. “He’s not ‘pretty good’. He’s fucking amazing. I’m actually kinda nervous about it.” 

Jaehyun feels his heart rate speed up because he wants to reassure Taeyong that he will do fine, that he has nothing to worry about, but he isn’t quite comfortable displaying those emotions around Taeyong yet. 

Before Jaehyun can respond, he’s saved by the topic of their conversation and his boyfriend entering the café. 

Johnny spots Jaehyun sitting in the booth with Taeyong. His eyes widen in surprise before he breaks out into a smile and walks over to them, gesturing for Ten to follow. 

“Hey guys!” Johnny says by way of greeting, in English. 

Jaehyun doesn’t know if Johnny meant to do that, considering how he sometimes switches between Korean and English subconsciously. Jaehyun decides to reply with, “What are you doing here?” also in English. He doesn’t know how well Taeyong speaks the language, but if he doesn’t, this will be the perfect time for Jaehyun to promptly tell Johnny to fuck off. 

“Eating, same as you.” Johnny says, a sly expression on his face. 

“Well, can you please go eat somewhere else?” Jaehyun is desperate. He knows the polite thing to do would be to invite Johnny and Ten to eat with him and Taeyong, but he doesn’t want to put himself in any embarrassing situations, courtesy of Johnny. 

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Fine. Enjoy your date.” 

Jaehyun feels his face become red. He looks across the table at Taeyong and is relieved to see him engaged in a conversation with Ten. 

“Good to see you, Taeyong!” Johnny says, in Korean this time, once Ten has finished his conversation. 

“You too!” Taeyong smiles and waves as Johnny and Ten turn to find a table that Jaehyun hopes is a significant distance away. 

Once the couple is gone, Taeyong turns to Jaehyun and asks, “You speak English?” 

“Yeah.” Jaehyun replies simply. 

“Have you ever lived abroad? You really sounded like a native English speaker just then.” Taeyong remarks, looking curious. 

Jaehyun doesn’t know if he’s ready to reveal this information about himself, however, he figures that he can’t exactly lie about it and Taeyong would find out eventually. “I lived in America for a while when I was younger.” Jaehyun says. 

“Damn. That’s exciting.” Taeyong replies, whistling. “Have you ever been back?” He asks. 

Jaehyun has to suppress a shudder. “No.” 

“Why not?” 

Jaehyun can think of a million responses to that question, all of them not pleasant, but the main one that comes to his mind is, “I never want to be in the same goddamn country as _him_ again”. 

But, of course, Jaehyun is not going to tell Taeyong the truth, so he just says, “I haven’t had time.” 

Taeyong seems to believe Jaehyun’s response, and if he doesn’t, he drops the subject. Jaehyun feels his shoulders relax and he takes a sip of the coffee that’s sitting on the table in front of him. 

When Jaehyun puts the drink down, he sees that Taeyong is smiling at him. 

“What is it?” Jaehyun asks, not understanding the other’s amusement. 

Taeyong must not realize his expression because he becomes flustered once Jaehyun asks the question. 

“O-oh, it’s nothing.” Taeyong says, averting his eyes. 

Jaehyun finds himself smiling now. He thinks that Taeyong is really too cute for his own good. 

“What do you have going on the rest of the day?” Taeyong asks, looking at Jaehyun again. 

Jaehyun thinks for a moment and tries to recall his schedule. “I have another class at around two and then I’m done for the day. I have to study tonight though.” He says, dreading the last part of his statement. 

“We should study together some time!” Taeyong suggests, his face lighting up. 

Jaehyun knows there’s absolutely no way he would ever get any studying done with Taeyong— everything about him is way too damn distracting. But, Jaehyun couldn’t say no even if he tried. 

“Sure. I’d be down.” Jaehyun says, impressed with the steadiness of his voice. 

Taeyong’s smile becomes brighter. “Awesome! Maybe my classes won’t be so boring anymore.” 

Jaehyun feels the heat rising in his face and his stomach flutter. Taeyong is really going to be the death of him, Jaehyun can feel it. 

“Just text me if you ever want to study or need help with something.” Jaehyun says shyly. 

“I will. Thanks, Jaehyunie.” Taeyong smiles, and Jaehyun will never get over how beautiful he is. 

Jaehyun decides right then that as long as Taeyong is smiling, as long as he has that gorgeous expression on his face, this will all be worth it. Jaehyun may still be scared of the direction his relationship with Taeyong is going in, of all the uncertainty, but as long as Taeyong is happy, that’s all that matters. 

\--- 

Later that night, when Jaehyun is studying in his room alone, he receives a text message. The sound of the notification breaks his concentration. 

Jaehyun checks his phone. The text is from Taeyong. 

_**Taeyong:**_ _don’t study too hard! ^-^ next time invite meee!_

Jaehyun smiles as he looks at the message. He doesn’t regularly text with people, so it’s a nice feeling to have Taeyong sending him messages, even if they're about nothing important. 

_**Jaehyun:**_ _I’ll try my best. x_x_

The next message Jaehyun receives from Taeyong includes an attachment. 

_**Taeyong:**_ _goodnight! go to sleep soon!_

When Jaehyun opens the message, he sees that Taeyong has sent him a selfie. He’s lying on a bed, his pink hair fanned out on the pillow below his head, and he has that beautiful smile on his face. 

Jaehyun saves the image and makes it Taeyong’s contact picture. 

He’s about to respond, but at the last second before he can press send, Jaehyun decides to send Taeyong a selfie as well. 

Jaehyun takes approximately one-thousand pictures of himself before he finally settles on one that he deems satisfactory enough to send along with a message that says: _Don’t worry about me :)_

Jaehyun feels anxious as he watches the text be delivered because he doesn’t know how Taeyong will react to the picture. 

About a minute later, Jaehyun gets his answer because Taeyong has replied to his message with two of his own. 

_**Taeyong:**_ _i am worried! sleep is good for you._

_**Taeyong:**_ _you’re also real cute._

Jaehyun can’t help the small giggle that escapes his mouth as he reads the message. He can’t believe that Taeyong called him cute. That was most definitely flirting, and Jaehyun would normally feel uncomfortable, but he finds that it’s not entirely unwelcome with Taeyong. Maybe he even wants to do it more. 

_**Jaehyun:** _ _Thank you :)_

After sending that message to Taeyong and twenty more minutes of studying, Jaehyun decides to call it a night. 

As Jaehyun is getting into bed, he gets a text from Johnny that says: _Staying at Ten’s! Be back tomorrow morning._

Jaehyun is disappointed, but not surprised. Ten has an off-campus apartment and Johnny normally spends a few nights out of the week there. He doesn’t spend every night there, however, and Jaehyun is grateful for the nights when Johnny stays in the dorm with him. It can get lonely. 

Before Jaehyun shuts his eyes, he looks at the picture Taeyong sent him one last time. 

It eases some of the loneliness Jaehyun feels as he closes his eyes and falls asleep alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the mini hiatus?? i was recovering from wisdom teeth extraction uGhhhG
> 
> also this is taking longer than i thought to develop but with Jaehyun's characterization, it's gonna take some time for him to feel 100% comfortable around Taeyong but don't worry, we're getting there!
> 
> also NCT 127 North American tour?? bitch i am ready


	6. Six

After their first café excursion, going out to eat becomes a somewhat regular thing for Jaehyun and Taeyong. With Taeyong’s encouragement, over the course of a couple weeks, they try all of the different spots on campus and on a few occasions, they take Jaehyun’s car to places further away.

Jaehyun has also begun to receive regular text messages from Taeyong even when they don’t have plans to see each other. Taeyong will send Jaehyun texts updating him about his day, random pictures of scenery around campus, and asking what Jaehyun is up to. 

Some of the messages make Jaehyun laugh, and some of them just make him smile fondly. Whenever he receives a notification from Taeyong, Jaehyun feels grateful that Taeyong is thinking about him and is taking time out of his day just to check up on him. 

They often text late into the night. They talk about everything. Well, everything that Jaehyun is comfortable with. Now that Taeyong knows Jaehyun lived in America, Jaehyun has been introducing him to American movie series and television shows. Taeyong’s favorite so far has been High School Musical. 

The best part of all this, however, is that Jaehyun is always wished a good morning and a good night. He starts and ends his days with messages from Taeyong, and that has made Jaehyun unbelievably happy. 

Jaehyun is still not the one to initiate their conversations or make plans, but he is gradually feeling more confident that he has found a solid friend in Taeyong and that if he were to suggest doing something together, Taeyong would accept the invitation. 

Which is why, sitting in the library alone on a Thursday night, Jaehyun decides to ask Taeyong if he would like to join him. He has some work that he has to get done, but he figures Taeyong does too, so why not do it together? 

He sends Taeyong a quick text. 

_**Jaehyun:**_ _Are you anywhere close to library?_

Jaehyun doesn’t want to bother Taeyong if he’s already in his dorm or something. He doesn’t want to inconvenience him. 

_**Taeyong:**_ _yea! why??_

Jaehyun feels his spirits lift. 

_**Jaehyun:**_ _Do you want to meet me there?_

_**Taeyong:**_ _sure! be there in 5!! :D_

Jaehyun feels a rush of excitement as he realizes that he actually just invited Taeyong to do something with him and that Taeyong actually accepted. Jaehyun’s demeanor brightens significantly. 

However, the good feeling Jaehyun has doesn’t last long because he puts his phone down and catches a glance of someone he really doesn’t want to see walking into the library. 

Jaehyun immediately turns his face down to look interested in his books in an attempt to hide his face. He desperately hopes that he hasn’t been spotted. 

After a few moments, Jaehyun thinks it worked, but then he hears a familiar voice in front of him and Jaehyun panics. Shit. 

“Hey Jaehyun.” 

Jaehyun decides that he can’t exactly hide anymore, so he looks up from his school work. 

Moon Taeil is standing across the table from Jaehyun. He looks every bit as handsome as the last time Jaehyun saw him, which had been at one of the few parties he has attended, after one too many drinks. Jaehyun cringes as the memories return to him. He remembers waking up in Taeil’s bed the morning after and then making a run for it. 

“H-hi.” Jaehyun says, not wanting to seem rude. But he also really doesn’t want Taeil to sit down and start a conversation. 

“How have you been?” Taeil asks, a soft smile on his face. If he’s mad that Jaehyun just up and left after their one night together, he doesn’t show it. 

“Um, pretty good.” Jaehyun nods. “How about you?” 

Taeil laughs. “Pretty good also.” 

“That’s good.” Jaehyun says. He feels extremely uncomfortable and wishes Taeil would’ve just minded his own business and ignored him. 

“I haven’t seen you around lately.” Taeil says, looking disappointed. 

“I’ve just been busy, I guess.” Jaehyun replies, and it’s not totally a lie. Jaehyun has been busy with school work and such, but he has also been doing his best to purposely avoid interactions like this one. 

“That’s understandable. You definitely look busy.” Taeil gestures to the work Jaehyun has spread out on the table in front of him. 

_Yeah I’m busy, so please leave me alone_ , Jaehyun wants to say, but he keeps it in his head. Jaehyun wonders how long he’s going to have to engage in this interaction for and desperately hopes Taeil takes his leave soon. 

Thankfully, Jaehyun sees a glimmer of hope when Taeyong walks into the library. Jaehyun feels a wave of relief wash over him. 

Taeyong looks around before he spots Jaehyun. He smiles at first, but then the smile is replaced with confusion once he sees that Jaehyun is talking to someone. 

Taeil sees Jaehyun shift his focus, so he turns his head to look behind him. 

“Oh, hey Taeil!” Taeyong says as he approaches the table, and Jaehyun is confused. Since when do Taeyong and Taeil know each other? 

“Hi! What are you doing here?” Taeil asks enthusiastically. 

Taeyong looks at Jaehyun. “Meeting him.” 

“Oh!” Taeil exclaims. “I didn’t know the two of you were friends.” 

Taeyong walks over to stand behind Jaehyun. Jaehyun is surprised when he feels Taeyong place a hand on his shoulder. 

“Same goes for you two.” Taeyong replies. He sounds like his normal, pleasant self, but Jaehyun feels the grip on his shoulder tighten the slightest bit. 

Taeil makes a gesture as if he’s about to say something, but then his eyes flicker between Jaehyun, Taeyong, and the hand Taeyong has on Jaehyun’s shoulder. He gets it. 

“I should go.” Taeil says with a knowing smile. “It was nice to see you guys.” 

Taeil looks at Jaehyun one last time before he leaves. 

“See you around!” Taeyong waves as Taeil begins to walk away. 

“See you.” Jaehyun says so quietly that he’s not sure Taeil heard it. 

Taeyong removes the hand he has on Jaehyun’s shoulder and sits down in the chair next to him. 

“You know Taeil?” Jaehyun asks, his curiosity getting the better of him. 

Taeyong looks through his bag as he responds. “He’s majoring in music, so we have a lot of classes in the same building.” 

Jaehyun supposes that makes sense. He has to remind himself that Taeyong is a social person who actually interacts with people he happens to meet. 

“How do you know him?” Taeyong has taken out a text book and a piece of lined paper. 

Jaehyun doesn’t quite know how to answer that question. He decides to spare Taeyong the details of what exactly happened between him and Taeil, so he just says, “I met him at a party.” 

Taeyong has a look on his face that Jaehyun can’t quite decipher. “Oh. That sounds fun.” 

_Not really_ , Jaehyun thinks, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Taeyong looks at his text book and then over to the pieces of paper and journals that Jaehyun has spread out in front of him. “What work are you doing?” Taeyong asks. 

“Stuff.” Jaehyun replies. He doesn’t want to tell Taeyong that he’s actually trying to come up with a story for his creative writing class. 

Taeyong begins to laugh. “Wow. So specific.” 

Jaehyun feels bad because he wants to tell Taeyong more about his passion for writing, but it somehow still feels too personal for them to talk about. “Sorry.” He says. 

“It’s fine, but I have an idea.” Taeyong says, a hopeful glint in his eyes. 

“What is it?” Jaehyun replies, having no clue what Taeyong’s idea could be. 

“Why don’t we do this in my dorm?” Taeyong suggests. 

Jaehyun wasn’t expecting that. He’s never been to Taeyong’s room before, even after all of the time they’ve been spending together. 

“What’s wrong with the library?” Jaehyun asks. 

“It’s uncomfortable.” Taeyong replies. “My room has a bed. And comfier chairs.” 

The offer is very tempting. Jaehyun shifts uncomfortably in his seat and looks around. He supposes the library is pretty busy at the moment. It could get distracting, and Jaehyun would probably be more productive in Taeyong’s room or anywhere more private. 

“Are you sure? Will Yuta be there?” Jaehyun asks. 

“No. He’s out on a ‘date’ with Sicheng.” Taeyong replies, using air quotes around the word “date”. 

Jaehyun’s eyes widen in surprise. He’s friends with Sicheng, but he had no idea that him and Yuta were a kind of a “thing”. Jaehyun needs to find more single friends. At least he has Taeyong. 

Come to think of it, Jaehyun realizes that he doesn’t actually know if Taeyong is dating anyone. They’ve never talked about things like that. It’s true Taeyong has flirted with him, and if he were seeing someone that’d be kind of strange, but it also seems innocent and maybe Taeyong doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. Maybe he calls people “cute” and casually touches them all the time. 

Jaehyun stops his train of thought because he realizes that he’s overanalyzing the situation. He doesn’t even know if Taeyong likes boys in that way, so what Jaehyun thinks of as “flirting” may mean nothing to Taeyong. Jaehyun suddenly doesn’t know what to make of their relationship. 

“So let’s go?” Taeyong asks, bringing Jaehyun back from his thoughts. 

Jaehyun doesn’t have a legitimate reason to refuse, so he says, “Okay.” 

“Yay!” Taeyong exclaims and once the two boys have packed up their belongings, they make their way out of the library. 

\--- 

“Here we are!” Taeyong declares once they arrive at his room. 

Taeyong lives in a different dorm building than Jaehyun. It’s definitely more modern looking, and Jaehyun finds himself slightly jealous. 

Taeyong opens the door to his room and motions for Jaehyun to enter. 

Jaehyun looks around and sees that the layout of Taeyong’s room is quite similar to his own. There are two beds, and one of them has a multitude of anime posters hung on the wall next to it along with a few other distinct Japanese items. Jaehyun assumes that one belongs to Yuta. 

The other bed is across the room beneath a window and Jaehyun’s heart soars as he sees the two books he recommended for Taeyong to read sitting on a little table next to the bed. It even looks as if Taeyong has actually been reading them. 

Jaehyun hears the door close behind him and he suddenly realizes that he’s completely alone with Taeyong for the first time. They’ve done things together just the two of them, sure, but it has always been in public places with other people around. 

Jaehyun walks over to the table next to Taeyong’s bed with the books on them. He picks one up and asks, “You’ve been reading this?” 

Taeyong smiles. “Of course! You’re the one who told me to.” 

“I said you didn’t have to if you didn’t want.” Jaehyun replies, frowning. 

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong walks over to him and places his hands on Jaehyun’s shoulders. “I really love the books. Just accept it.” He laughs. 

Jaehyun still feels doubtful, but he says, “Okay”, just to please Taeyong. 

Taeyong seems satisfied so he puts his school bag down and sits on his bed. He looks up when he sees Jaehyun still standing. 

“Sit down.” Taeyong instructs, patting the spot next to him on the bed. 

Jaehyun slowly takes off his backpack and places it on the floor before sitting down next to Taeyong. The bed is, unsurprisingly, very comfortable. 

Once Jaehyun is sitting, Taeyong looks at him for a moment. Something has been bothering him since Jaehyun revealed how he met Taeil. Taeyong could tell Jaehyun wasn’t telling the whole truth, and he feels as if this is something he needs to know. 

“Earlier, when you said you met Taeil at a party,” Taeyong begins cautiously, and he sees Jaehyun tense up, “what exactly did you mean?” 

At first, Jaehyun feels as if he’s been backed into a corner. He doesn’t know what Taeyong is implying by asking that question, and he feels uncomfortable telling Taeyong about what happened with Taeil because what if he judges him? What if he judges Jaehyun for hooking up with someone? What if he judges him for hooking up with a boy? Jaehyun really doesn’t want to deal with Taeyong’s disapproval. 

But, as Jaehyun thinks about it more, he realizes that Taeyong has never been judgmental towards him before. He’s never judged his taste in books, music, or movies – not anything. Why should this be any different? 

Jaehyun takes a depth breath and decides to tell Taeyong the truth. 

“Taeil and I hooked up that night.” Jaehyun reveals, trying his best to keep his expression neutral and his voice steady. 

Taeyong looks surprised at first, but then his expression changes to one of understanding and realization. 

“Oh.” Is all that Taeyong says. 

_That’s all he’s gonna say? Oh?_ Jaehyun feels exasperated. 

“Are you still seeing him?” Taeyong asks after a few moments of silence. 

Jaehyun immediately shakes his head. “No. It was a one-time thing.” 

Taeyong seems to relax slightly, but then he asks, “Do you do that a lot?” 

“Do what a lot?” Jaehyun inquires. 

“Sleep around. One-night things.” Taeyong clarifies. 

“I try not to. It just kind of happens sometimes.” Jaehyun says, his shoulders sagging. 

Taeyong seems to understand. “Do they ever last beyond just one night?” 

“Not typically.” Jaehyun responds. 

“Do you ever want them to?” 

“No.” 

Taeyong seems taken aback. He clearly wasn’t expecting that answer. 

“Why not?” Taeyong asks. 

Jaehyun has to think about that. He’s had a conversation with himself about this exact question many times. Why is he so scared of relationships? Jaehyun has concluded that it’s because he doesn’t want to get hurt. He never wants to go through that pain again. Not after last time. He could never endure that again. 

“U-um, I guess…” Jaehyun trails off, thinking about how to best answer Taeyong’s question. “I guess it’s because I’m afraid people won’t like me?” 

Taeyong looks confused. “Why on earth would you think that?” He asks. 

Again, Jaehyun struggles to answer his question. Jaehyun’s mind is all over the place because Taeyong is quite literally asking him to reveal some of his deepest insecurities. He never talks about this stuff with anyone. Not even with Johnny. He just keeps it to himself and tries to go about his life as normally as possible, suppressing all of the negative emotions. 

Taeyong waits expectantly, and Jaehyun eventually says, “I don’t know.” 

Although, that’s not the truth. He does know, and Taeyong knows that he knows. 

Taeyong doesn’t say anything, and after another moment, Jaehyun continues talking, much to his own and Taeyong’s surprise. 

“It’s just…” Jaehyun begins, bringing his hands up to cover his face. “I’m afraid that once people get to know me, once people spend more time with me, they’ll find someone better or someone more exciting and interesting than me.” Jaehyun says. “I’ve never been a person that people like to be around. Relationships never work out for me. They never have, and they never will.” 

When Jaehyun finishes talking, he keeps his face hidden behind his hands. He can’t bring himself to look at Taeyong right now. Jaehyun has never told anyone what he just told Taeyong. He wasn’t expecting to say all of that. Taeyong probably thinks he’s crazy. 

Jaehyun is convinced that Taeyong won’t understand. 

Jaehyun hears movement next to him. He feels the mattress shift as Taeyong stands up from the bed. For a second, Jaehyun thinks that Taeyong is going to tell him to leave, that he doesn’t want to deal with Jaehyun’s ridiculous emotions. 

But a moment later, Jaehyun feels soft hands grasp his own to move them away from his face. 

When Jaehyun looks up, Taeyong is kneeling on the floor in front of him, still holding his hands. 

“Jaehyun, I want you to listen to me.” Taeyong instructs. “Okay?” 

Jaehyun nods slowly. 

Taeyong takes a deep breath. “I don’t know who or what made you feel as though you’ll never be able to find happiness in a relationship. I don’t know who told you that you’re not interesting to be around and that there’s always going to be someone better than you.” 

Jaehyun watches silently as Taeyong speaks. He feels so overwhelmed with emotion. 

“I want you to know that all of that is bullshit. I have genuinely enjoyed all of the time we’ve spent together, and I will personally fight anyone who makes you feel unwanted. Okay?” 

Taeyong scans Jaehyun’s face and tries to gage his reaction. 

At the moment, Jaehyun is quite literally speechless. He has lost his ability to form words, though it doesn’t really matter because even if he could speak, he would have no idea what to say. 

Jaehyun looks at Taeyong’s sincere expression and realizes that he meant every word he just said. Jaehyun breathes slowly and tries to collect his thoughts. 

“You’re too small to fight anyone” is what Jaehyun chooses to say once he has calmed down a bit. 

Taeyong looks at Jaehyun in disbelief before he starts to laugh. 

“Shit. You’re right.” 

Now Jaehyun is laughing too, and he feels lighter somehow. It’s as if an enormous weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He no longer has to keep all of his insecurities to himself. Someone else knows what he’s struggling with, and he no longer has to go through it alone. 

Taeyong releases Jaehyun’s hands and climbs back onto the bed next to him. 

“I would fight someone for you though. I’m deadass.” Taeyong says, leaning his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun lets him do it. He wants to be close to Taeyong right now, in every sense of the word. 

“Jesus. Please don’t.” Jaehyun urges. He knows Taeyong isn’t serious, but a small part of him doesn’t doubt that Taeyong is the kind of person who doesn’t take shit from anyone. 

“Fine.” Taeyong frowns. Jaehyun just smiles fondly at him. 

“Thank you for telling me all of that.” Taeyong says, and Jaehyun can feel the words against his neck. 

Jaehyun sighs. “Thank you for listening.” 

Taeyong lifts his head from Jaehyun’s shoulder and looks directly into his eyes. Jaehyun feels uneasy under his intense gaze. 

“If you ever need someone to talk to about anything, I will always be here.” Taeyong says. 

Jaehyun reaches his hand out to ruffle Taeyong’s pink hair. It’s a lot softer than he expected it to be. Taeyong leans into Jaehyun’s touch. 

“I know. Thank you.” Jaehyun says, and he truly means it. 

Taeyong makes a weird sound, almost laughter but not quite, and Jaehyun asks, “What is it?” 

Taeyong looks at Jaehyun for a moment and then says, “I can’t believe you and Taeil really hooked up.” 

Jaehyun removes his hand from Taeyong’s hair. “It was one time!” He insists, thinking that he had already made that clear earlier. 

“I know, it’s just kind of surprising.” Taeyong admits. “Is he your type?” 

“I don’t know if I have a type.” Jaehyun says. 

Taeyong pauses for a moment before asking his next question. 

“Are you gay?” He asks, straight to the point. 

Jaehyun thought he would feel uncomfortable revealing this information about himself to Taeyong. But he doesn’t. He finds himself wanting to tell Taeyong everything. 

“Bisexual. Although I typically find myself more attracted to men.” Jaehyun says. 

Taeyong smiles and nods in understanding. 

“Is that, like, okay with you?” Jaehyun asks tentatively. 

Taeyong looks as though he’s just been asked the most ridiculous question in the entire universe. 

“Of course, you dumbass.” Taeyong states, hitting Jaehyun softly on the chest. 

“You sure?” Jaehyun doesn’t want there to be any doubt. 

“Jaehyun, I’d accept you no matter what.” Taeyong insists. 

Jaehyun nods. He believes him. 

“And, besides,” Taeyong adds, “I’m pretty gay myself.” 

Jaehyun feels a small part of himself jump in excitement. _Taeyong likes boys! He likes boys! I’m a boy!_

Jaehyun stops. What was that last thought? He has never even entertained the idea of dating anyone before, so why is he excited after learning that he and Taeyong have somewhat of a chance? He doesn’t like Taeyong _like that_ , does he? He hasn’t felt that way about anyone since America. 

Jaehyun files that thought away in his brain for later. He doesn’t want to deal with unexpected emotions right now. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something? I know we came here to work, but I don’t feel like doing that anymore.” Taeyong says. 

Jaehyun also doesn’t feel like working, so he says, “Sure.” 

With that, Taeyong stands up and walks over to his desk to retrieve his laptop. While he’s up, Taeyong takes off his gray sweater, but the shirt underneath rides up the slightest bit and Jaehyun catches a glance of smooth, toned skin. 

Jaehyun feels his heart rate increase and his face heat up. He quickly averts his eyes. 

When Taeyong sits back down on the bed holding his laptop, Jaehyun still feels slightly flustered and on edge. His heart is still beating abnormally fast and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

He tries to calm down, but then Taeyong shifts his position on the bed so their shoulders are now touching. Jaehyun inhales sharply and runs a hand through his hair. 

“Everything okay?” Taeyong asks, looking concerned. 

“Yep. Everything is fine.” Jaehyun replies, but his voice is slightly higher than normal. 

Taeyong smiles, unaware of the stress he is putting Jaehyun through, and opens his laptop. 

“What should we watch?” Taeyong asks. 

“Whatever.” Jaehyun replies, not being able to form coherent thoughts with Taeyong sitting so close. 

“Okay then. High School Musical it is.” Taeyong declares, smiling brightly at Jaehyun. 

“Oh my god. What have I done.” Jaehyun mutters to himself, but Taeyong hears it. 

“You've changed my life for the absolute better.” Taeyong asserts, pulling up the movie on his laptop. 

Jaehyun laughs at Taeyong’s enthusiasm. The truth is, Jaehyun is extremely happy that Taeyong has taken a liking to some of his favorite movies. It means a lot to him. 

Taeyong settles back into Jaehyun’s chest as the movie starts, and in that moment, Jaehyun has never felt more comfortable. 

\--- 

About two hours later, the movie is over, and Jaehyun is left with a sleeping Taeyong. 

He fell asleep within the last ten minutes of the movie, and Jaehyun hadn’t even realized it until the movie was over and he asked, “Still life changing?”, and didn’t get a response. 

Now Jaehyun is not sure what to do. He doesn’t blame Taeyong for falling asleep as he must be exhausted with his dance schedule. Jaehyun himself feels exhausted as well. 

Jaehyun carefully moves Taeyong’s head from where it was resting on his chest. He lays him down properly on the bed and pulls the blankets over him. Taeyong stirs a little bit, but he doesn’t wake up. 

Jaehyun looks at the sleeping boy for a moment and feels a familiar pain in his chest. He can’t help but lean down and brush a strand of hair away from Taeyong’s face. 

“Goodnight.” Jaehyun says softly before he walks to the door and leaves Taeyong to his dreams. 

As Jaehyun walks back to his own dorm, he looks up at the night sky and decides that maybe it’s time to acknowledge his feelings. 

Maybe it’s time to just accept the fact that what he’s beginning to feel for Taeyong is definitely more than just friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else planning to see NCT on their tour?? i’m so excited!!!
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter :))


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